I am only human. I endlessly make mistakes, say negative things, voice pointless opinions... And I do in fact, regret. I've always wondered how people could tell me that they lived their lives with no regrets. How they could do and say obscene things, yet live on without feeling even a little bit of remorse? How does that work? The most I can make myself do is accept. I mean, what else is there to do? In my opinion, it's impossible to do something so terrible, so... negative... And not regret it the next day. So I've come up with the idea that that whole "I live with no regrets" thing is just an excuse. A cover-up. A phrase just there to pull out when the situation calls for it. That's kind of miserable. If I had to abide by that rule, the phrase would be overused and abused. I regret so much... So often. But in time, I accept it and continue on with my life, trying my best not to think about my mistake ever again. Even a brief moment of reliving some of my regrets makes my whole body cringe. I'm trying to advocate rationality here. Whether it's working or not, I'm just saying it'd be a lot easier to get rid of the "tough guy" facade and just allow yourself to feel disappointment once in a while. It happens to all of us. Acting like we're okay with our mistakes is more depressing than just being honest to ourselves. Lying will just make the healing process a bit more tedious.
Lying to others is forbidden, but lying to ourselves is delusive.
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Dear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI wandered onto your site from Youtube, and was pleasantly surprised to find that you are quite a concise and thoughtful writer. I'm one of those people who say they have no regrets, but like you, I've put a great deal of thought into the issue. I believe that just because one chooses not to have regrets doesn't mean there is nothing to regret in their life.
Life is a comedy of errors...we all make mistakes. But for me, it's a choice between looking forward and looking back, dwelling on the past or turning to the future. There are so many things I could regret in my life, so many wrong decisions, so many wasted opportunities...but in choosing not to spend time regretting those things, I can live each day anew, learning from, but not mourning the past.