Sleep late, wake up late. That what summer’s all about right? I sleep when the sun comes up and wake up far too late to even remember what getting up in the morning even feels like, let alone even remember the word morning. I didn’t really take into account the repercussions of floating off to the land of nod so late, but now I’m starting to recognize the potential negative affects. But oh well. If only I cared enough to change.
So I’m starting to notice people actually beginning to legitimately build and form their foundations for their future, and I think to myself “Well shit… I still have not even the slightest clue of what I want to be in the future… And the future is more like tomorrow it seems now that I’m and ‘adult’.” I still feel like a kid, and I know damn sure that I still act like one. Parts of my personality may seem aged, like the fact that I like to go to coffee shops and read, and the fact that I find visiting museums appealing… But the rest of me is still right down there with that little girl feeling overwhelmed by the amount of candy available to her at a candy store, or that little boy wanting to cry and wishing to break the toy machine when the claw seems too weak to even grab a damn feather. I’m suffering from the widespread epidemic that has saturated the minds of most of the teenagers-going-on-to-adults in my generation: Lazishness. What is “Lazishness” you ask? It’s a combination of Laziness and Selfishness. Oh it’s a word… In my head. Caring little or as so many call it “DGAF”ing is great… But only in a number of cases. I need to start caring more. I need more motivation in my life and I need to stop asking God or other people for it and I need to find it myself. I know too well that my future isn’t going to be bright just because I say it will be, I need to perform and tortur— I mean… work to get even half of where I aspire to be. For those of you working, and grinding out every day, and truly taking every part of the trite expression “Carpe Diem” seriously, I tip my hat, no, I tip my fucking life to you. Because what you’re doing, is something I wish I could get myself to do immediately. But baby steps… Baby steps.
"Idle hands are the devil's workshop"