tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14353502224942418802024-03-14T02:20:00.484-07:00Taste & SeeSarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-25952115868691993812015-05-07T11:37:00.001-07:002015-05-07T13:14:48.910-07:00EternityThe whole, very real concept of eternity has been heavily on my heart lately. It's easy for me, and I think many would agree, to see Heaven and the idea of eternity as a very faraway, and difficult to grasp concept. I for one often find myself viewing heaven and eternity as some sort of an end goal rather than something that is very real, and very present in every second of my life.<br />
Eternity is not something that just happens to take form after death, it is already happening right beside us and all around us. In the spirit, eternity is very alive and in motion, though we may not perceive it in the flesh. Heaven and the Kingdom have been established, it has always been there, before anything, created by God the one, ultimate founder/artchitect/designer of... Everything that was and is and is to come. Heaven is happening, Heaven is moving, always. In our sleep, in our daily mundane affairs, in our sadness, in our elation, God, Jesus, His kingdom is perpetually, unceasingly in motion.<br />
As someone who thinks about mortality a lot, and used to feel a lot of anxiety about the thought of it, this truth brought and keeps bringing me an immeasurable amount of peace. Eternity is a literal reality that walks alongside us, in every moment and facet of our existence. For any of you who feel lonely, we are never quite alone. Quite the contrary. Heaven is a vapor away from us, Jesus is a vapor away from us, rooting for us always. As I'm typing this out, Heaven is moving. As I take a drink of my water, Jesus is watching, all but a mere breath away.<br />
All that separates us from forever with Jesus, is a small, small breath. That is how inconceivably close He is. One gasp of air, draws a line from our existence here to our flourishing existence in Heaven. Truly, death WHERE is your sting? Where, O death, is your victory? (1 Corinthians 15:55)<br />
Eternity is not a remote, improbable approximation... Nor is it an end goal per se. Eternity lives and overflows in abundance of love and truth and reality, alongside us in every moment of our lives. God has never and will never stop existing. Eternity walks with us in this fleeting journey in our flesh. From the first breath to the last, eternity exists and anticipates us. God is so good, and His kingdom so real.<br />
Knowing this brought so much peace to me, I hope it brings peace and joy to anyone else who reads this.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-70342199181559386872015-05-07T10:49:00.002-07:002015-05-07T10:49:38.506-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 8-9 - 5/7/2015I've been drinking black coffee, and yesterday morning I didn't drink any coffee at all to really transition into a full on vegan diet and man... I didn't realize how much that cup in the morning makes a huge difference. I was so tired yesterday and had to make myself a small cup this morning to wake myself up. Maybe I'll try to wean off coffee by limiting myself to two cups a week or something, and then eventually cutting it off completely.<br />My cravings, or lack thereof, have improved significantly. I don't find myself thinking about junk as much anymore and I look forward to my fruit and veggie smoothies every morning/night. My skin is also looking pretty clear... But that may just be because I'm done with my woman times. Anyway, everything is going really good. My body is adjusting very well, and my metabolism is CRAZY right now... In a good way. BRING ON WEEK 2!Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-25302143354689756262015-05-05T15:30:00.001-07:002015-05-05T15:30:55.615-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 7 - 5/5/2015We are at day 7 of the no sugar challenge. I woke up feeling pretty great. To my surprise, no cravings whatsoever for any processed sugary foods in the morning. I did an ab workout last night and I noticed I had a lot of energy. Usually I'm knackered about 15 minutes in, but I was going strong from start to finish. Anyway, this morning was great, had some boiled eggs. For lunch I had a green juice from Whole Foods and some pineapples. I also had some chicken and broccoli... Now it's that time of day again. Snack time. I'm starting to think about chocolates and candies right now, and to distract myself I started munching on some sprouted almonds and sunflower seeds. This is helping a bit, but man... smelling that nacho buffet in our work conference room is going to SUCK. The party starts in about 5 minutes and to be honest, I'd like to just hibernate and close my office door to stay way from the temptation, but I know I'll be okay. I watched "Hungry For Change" on Netflix last night, so I'm still pretty motivated. I'm hoping to maybe turn this no sugar, eventually into a vegan raw diet soon. Call me crazy, but I want to reset my body back to health, naturally. God designed our bodies to heal itself, and I really believe this. Everything God does/makes is good. If it's not good, it's not from Him. I digress...<br />Time to head off to the Cinco De Mayo party. Pray for me.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-70427806185435159832015-05-04T15:43:00.003-07:002015-05-04T15:43:57.826-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 6 - 5/4/2015Had some boiled eggs and my green smoothie for breakfast this morning. Feeling pretty tired and out of it today. Walking past the candy corner near my office today was especially brutal. We have a Cinco De Mayo celebration in the office tomorrow with my VP's "famous margaritas" and a nacho buffet. Not having any of that is going to be another level of sadness. If anything, this challenge is shedding light on the crap that I used to eat without even thinking twice. I'm THAT person that checks the labels on everything at the Whole Foods now. Now that I see the refined and processed junk that is hidden in everything, it's no wonder cutting sugar off is so difficult.<br />My brain is kind of learning to sublimate now. Not that I'm not craving cookies and chips, but along with that I'm also really craving one of my green smoothies right now. Before, it used to be the cookies and chips only, and I'd force the green smoothie down my throat. Looking forward to this day being over... It has been a long Monday... And I need some rest especially if I'm going to practice all that self control tomorrow. Nacho buffet... Seriously?!??!Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-52314395833219260382015-05-03T20:50:00.001-07:002015-05-03T20:50:23.236-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 4-5 - 5/3/2015Day 4: Started the day off with some egg white omelettes and a green smoothie for breakfast. After a lovely hike we had some plain acai bowls without granola or honey, and for dinner we hit up our local vegan restaurant "Green Temple." We both are doing pretty good, having mild cravings for things like boba and chips, but we're managing. Towards the end of the night, I started having some strong cravings for junk. I picked up a banana and that helped a bit, but I went to sleep pretty disgruntled.<br />
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Day 5: My women time began this morning so my debilitating cramps distracted me from my sugar cravings for a bit. After Midol kicked in, I made myself a green smoothie and lied back down to try and ride the cramps out. Towards the afternoon, I made myself another smoothie, this time with blueberries and blackberries and had a vegan wrap for dinner. Cravings for cookies and chips and things are still there, but what I want most is some sweetener in my iced coffee. :( Sigh. Bring on day 6!!!Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-34067418951215193892015-05-01T10:48:00.002-07:002015-05-01T10:48:52.254-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 2 - 3Totally forgot to post yesterday, mostly because I pretty much ate the exact same thing as I did on Wednesday.<br />I feel the same... Maybe a little more energetic. I did wake up yesterday morning thinking about sugary cereals though. That was weird. I also had a dream about binge eating candy... It's like I'm quitting drugs.<br />My cravings aren't so bad yet. Not really thinking of sugar much during the day. The hardest time is around 3pm because that is usually my snack time at work. I always pick up a candy bar or a bag of chips, so that time of day gets kind of depressing. I had an egg white spinach omelette for dinner last night, and made myself a green smoothie and hard boiled eggs this morning. Still going strong. Excited to see how I start feeling in a few more days!Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-73096874395941810412015-04-29T17:21:00.002-07:002015-04-29T17:21:32.651-07:00No Sugar Challenge Day 1 - 4/29/2015Today was the first day of my no sugar challenge. I had a spinach/kale/banana smoothie in the morning with some chia seeds, and a mix of chicken, onions and asparagus for lunch. When I felt like snacking, I ate a banana, and later on in the day I had some grapefruit. That sufficed for about an hour and now I'm hungry again. I don't have any wacky cravings or anything, but I've got into such a routine of snacking around this time of day (3pm-4pm)... It just feels weird that I'm not grabbing for something.<br />Overall, I feel pretty normal. A little tired, maybe a little bit more grumpy... Some Oreos sound so good right now... Ugh. Gotta snap out of it. My motivation is still high, especially after watching Fed Up, so I'm excited to see how I feel in a week. I'll be home from work soon, and will probably make another smoothie for dinner. Sheri, I hope you're hanging in there, too!Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-53519021450424962422015-04-06T16:42:00.003-07:002015-04-06T16:42:51.174-07:00He is RISENMatthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is scared; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."<br />
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Lately, my quandaries have been centered around my identity, or lack thereof. I've always felt such a lack of solidity when it came to addressing my identity... And I'm using identity as an umbrella term... My overall, general, innermost self-hood has always been so malleable, and I didn't realize I had a problem with that until just recently. For example, my standpoints on anything are never one way. I scarcely get into arguments because I never really have a passionate one-sided outlook on things. I'm not even sure if I have a favorite color. Optimistically, I can say that makes me open minded, but my pessimist self just tells me that I don't have a firm knowledge of who I am or what I believe. That is until recently...<br />I've always found it extremely difficult to open myself up to strangers. I tend to see myself as a burden on another's life and bottle things up to myself to avoid adding onto their load. I bite my tongue in a lot of situations to appease another person, and because I wouldn't even know how to stand up for myself in the first place. How could I, when I wasn't even aware of my own identity?<br />But God gave me my moment of clarity. I recently faced a situation where I either needed to stand firm in my beliefs in God, or once again compromise my self-hood and perpetuate this continual self deprecation on my lack of identity, which is detrimental to my relationship with God. Sick of my teetering faith, I made the leap and stood firm in my faith, even if that meant upsetting the other person, and in that moment I realized it. That is my identity. My faith, and my beliefs in the Lord make me who I am. He gives me love, hope and strength, and also identity... And every time I stay firm in Him, my identity becomes a little more solidified. Every time I say no to sin, and yes to Jesus, I learn more about who I am, and who I was made to be. We just need to have the courage to say Yes more. It can be scary, but the outcome is so worth it. He's worth our yeses, isn't he? Everything we could possibly need and more is in the Lord...<br />For so long I've been throwing my pearls to pigs. Teetering rather than standing firm in my faith... And all that has done to me is leave me feeling empty and rootless. When you give the dogs what is sacred, you lose a piece of yourself and that perpetuates this unhealthy need to find a brief, impermanent fix to fill that void. God is not holding a whip ready to lash at you at every mistake you make. He sees your slop, and is waiting with a clean robe for your back, rings for your fingers, and sandals for your weary feet. This is the God I'm saying yes to. The God who gives me identity.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-19349113262351349752015-03-08T23:11:00.002-07:002015-03-08T23:14:58.231-07:00The Bigger PictureI am a fearful person. I often find myself caring too much about what people think about me. That fear affects the things I choose to say, the way I act, the things I do, etc. I always see people doing amazing, passion filled things on a daily basis, and I think to myself "that'll never be me." When I get into this mindset, I often feel guilty for being such a useless person to God. I also get existential and question God if He really did make me for a reason, and if so, what reason?<br />
Tonight, God put on my heart that He is the bigger picture. I remember hearing on the radio, a man, speak of his story of when he became a christian. He started seeing the world in a different way, and realized how bleak, violent and ugly the world around us was. He said to the Lord, "God... Why don't you DO something about this?!" And God said to him, "I did. I made you."<br />
We need to look at the bigger picture. This is ALL for Him. God is the bigger picture. We were all carefully, and fearfully made. Even before we were in the womb, He, the Creator of the universe, knew us. Let that sink in. God doesn't make mistakes.<br />
"The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again." - Ecclesiastes 1: 5-7<br />
Just look at the way God made the world. The sun, the wind, the ocean... they work in perfect unison because they were made by the Creator.... For us. The world looks so big, but we are bigger. We were made to show the world who Jesus is. It's hard to see this when we get consumed by the busy microcosm that is our lives, but we just need to stop for a second, take a breath and look at the bigger picture.<br />
It takes passion to be a follower of the Lord. And I'm only human, so fear discourages me on a daily basis, and the enemy tries to tell me that I'm not part of God's plan. But I was FEARFULLY and CAREFULLY MADE, and HE KNEW ME BEFORE I WAS IN THE WOMB. He will never leave me nor forsake me, so long as I have love and faith, fear will not hinder me. Without Him, I'm lost. I'm freefalling into my destruction. I've tasted of His love, I've seen His heart for me. There's no going back into normalcy after that. THIS is my normal. This should be the world's normal.<br />
It's easy to feel small. But we're all part of the bigger puzzle piece, and we're all essential for its completion. Use me for Your glory, Jesus.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-2098677299629973142015-02-28T11:40:00.002-08:002015-02-28T11:40:32.949-08:00Your Will for MeGod knows. Whatever it is you're going through, wherever you are at in your life, He knows.<br />
I've had a packed schedule these past few weeks. Even when I'd feel my spirit tug at me to spend time with my Savior, I just kept going on with my own strength. Next week will be my first official week in my new position at my job. I've been feeling very restless because of this. Is this what God wants me to do? Is this where God wants me to be? Does He see me right now? Did He make this happen or did I just do this on my own strength? Can I do this? Am I too young? What if I fail? <br />On top of all this doubt, I started getting a horrible migraine a couple days ago. I woke up this morning in tears because it was so painful, and nothing was helping. No medicine, no amount of rest was helping the pain. I was feeling pretty bummed because I was supposed to go out with a friend, but that friend reached out to me in the morning saying she was not feeling well either. I was feeling horrible AND my plans got cancelled. If that isn't a sign to stay home and just stop going going going for a second, I don't know what is.<br />I woke up with the following lyrics in my head this morning: "What can make me white as snow, what can make me white as snow." I finally listened to the tugging of my spirit and fell into God's arms today. I ran to Him today. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me of any transgressions I needed to repent of, and I repented. I thanked Him for His mercy. I felt Him reassure me that it is no accident, where I'm currently at in my life. He knew me BEFORE he formed me in my mother's womb. It was silly of me to think that I somehow got to where I am on my own. My feelings of self doubt were draining me and God restored me. When Jeremiah felt afraid and unprepared what did God tell him? "I am with you to deliver you." And when Moses felt afraid and unprepared what did God tell him? "But I will be with you." -- "Who made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak."<br />
Jesus made me clean today. He is the fire that burns but does not consume. Everything else in this world burns, and destroys. God burns, yet gives life. My feelings of inadequacy are not uncommon. Even Moses and Jeremiah felt inadequate. But the principle of the matter is that God is the one that appointed them. They did not do what they did on their own, they were appointed by the great I AM. Bigger picture. We always tend to focus on the microcosm that is OUR lives, when we need look at the Macro: God's plan. <br />God is with me. God is with you. You're not where you are by accident, or by your own strength. He knew you before you were formed in the womb, think about that for a second. Your life is not by accident. Run to Him. His arms are spread wide. He wants to catch you. Fall into His arms. He's got you and He'll lead you every step of the way. Just run to Him.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-77945298322238231872015-01-23T10:23:00.001-08:002015-01-23T15:02:34.957-08:00My Hike to the Jim Morrison CaveWe came, we saw, we conquered the elusive Jim Morrison Cave.<br />
I think the first time I had ever heard about the cave, was through a youtube video. I watched a beauty guru talk about her favorite hikes in Los Angeles, and this Jim Morrison cave happened to be the one of them. The shots of the cave were stunning and as soon as I finished the video I knew this was something I had to check out myself. So, at the inception of 2015, my adventure partner and I decided to make this hike one of our resolutions of the year.<br />
We conquered the hike on Saturday January 10th 2015. The weather was nice throughout the week, so we thought "why would Saturday be any different?" We were wrong. We chose the one day out of the week that it decided to POUR from sun up to sun down... But we were too set on going to turn back from a little rain. So we started the long drive to Malibu, and took the freeways instead of going along PCH which in retrospect, would've been a much better idea. If you go down the coast (we were coming from Redondo Beach so Northbound) keep going until you hit Corral Canyon Drive. There is a gas station and a traffic light so it's hard to miss. Take a right on Corral Canyon Drive and go to the VERY TIPPY TOP until the road turns into a dirt path leading to a fairly large lot. The drive up this hill is very windy and swirly, and it seems never ending so drive slowly and enjoy the view. Once you get into the lot, you'll see a few different trailheads connecting to the lot, one called "Castro Motorway Bulldog Motorway." This one does NOT lead to the Jim Morrison cave, nor do any of the trails attached to the lot. We learned this the hard way. We went up and down, over and under all of the trailheads that connected to the lot in the pouring rain and were SO ready to throw in the towel until we saw two guys walking in from the lot entrance. It was an extremely cold and rainy day so these were the first humans we had encountered that entire time. With their guidance, we found out that the entrance to the trail that lead to the cave was not connected to ANY of the trailheads in that lot. If you park in the lot, you need to walk out towards the entrance, and walk down the actual fire road, which is the road you drove UP to find the lot, and eventually you'll come to a trail entrance titled "Backbone Trail." This is the one. You walk up this trail for 15-20 minutes, and you'll come across the notorious circular rock formation that everyone posts pictures of. If you see this formation, it's a dead giveaway that you are in the right place. As much as my friend and I wanted to add a rock to the circle, we were so exhausted that we just headed straight for the cave. If you've walked all the way to the rock formation, you've gone too far. The cave is nestled inbetween some bushes and shrubbery BEFORE that distracting spiral of rocks. To the left, before the spiral, there will be a pointy rock structure, that really doesn't look like much, but that's it. That's the cave. There will be a vague small path that leads the way to this structure, and walk slowly because I got pretty scratched up from all the bushes. Once you get close enough to the rock structure, you'll see all the graffiti leading to the cave entrance, also known as the "birth canal" (gross). It's a tight squeeze, and it's dark in there so make sure to throw a stone into the entrance before you head in, in case there's anything creepy crawly nesting in there. Climb your way in and pat yourself on the back because you've found the infamous cave where Jim Morrison allegedly had his acid trips, wrote his music, and carved a skeleton into the base of the cave. Graffiti covers the walls of the cave so it's quite a sight to see. You apparently get an excellent view of the San Fernando Valley from the cave, but since we went on a rainy day all we got a view of was some thick, wet fog. But it was still worth it.<br />
All in all, despite going on the wrong trails a couple of times, the overall hike was beautiful and definitely worth checking out. Learn from my mistake and CHECK THE WEATHER before you go. Pack some water and a light snack and have yourself a little picnic in the cave. I really don't know how my friend and I persevered and hiked our little butts off for like 6 hours. God was definitely with us on this trip. Good luck to any of you who decide to take on this hike. I hope this post is helpful. God speed!<br />
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The "Birth Canal"</div>
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Inside the cave</div>
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Jim's little skelly</div>
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Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-63270250735405016442014-11-27T16:45:00.000-08:002014-11-27T16:53:41.618-08:00An UndoingAt this moment in my life, I feel like God is taking me through a cleansing process. He's helping me unlearn the ways the world has influenced me to act, to think, to speak... And He's instructing me to relearn life through Him, and His word. He's sensitizing me again, to the things the world has taught me to be desensitized to, and softening the hardness of my heart, layer by layer. Albeit beautiful and necessary, this process, this undoing so to speak, is difficult.<br />
The battle becomes more strenuous, more emotional with every single layer He peels back. Like peeling an onion, the stench gets stronger the more you peel away, and the tears get heavier. But every time, without fail, He's there to comfort me and encourage me, every single step of the way. And the more difficulty I face, the more grace and love He pours out in my life. I can feel Him strengthening me, every time I choose to fix my gaze on Him and His unchanging love, rather than the unstable, inevitably disappointing and ephemeral things of the world.<br />
I remember my pastor once saying, "I don't want to get my world views through the world, I want to get my world views from the bible." It reminds me of Paul, who thought he saw so clearly, when he was persecuting Christians. His world view was so certain. Then Jesus stepped in and flipped his entire view upside down. He finally saw real truth and ironically, became blind. That is so symbolic to me. He lost his sight, the eyes that he once believed saw everything so clearly... And got his sight renewed by Ananias, a disciple of God. Now Paul saw through these new eyes... Given to him, by the Lord. What an "unlearning" he had to go through...<br />
Choosing to follow God, isn't this instantaneous, one time transformation. It's a process... An undoing. A refining. He is giving us new eyes like he did, Paul. And now it's a relationship we're cultivating... God pursues us, but we now have a duty to pursue Him back... And He is always faithful to respond.<br />
I pray for triumph over these trials, God. Help us never lose sight of Your love. You are faithful to provide. There is nothing, no problem that can ever be bigger than You. Let us be a generation that seeks Your face.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-44854512413550540452014-11-08T11:20:00.001-08:002014-11-08T11:34:49.274-08:00One Foot in Flesh, One Foot in SpiritI heard a great analogy for what it's like for a christian to be living in sin: Imagine there is a giant pile of manure in the middle of your living room floor. Now you decide you want to clean your house, so you start dusting the cabinets, sweeping the floors, wiping down windows and mirrors, the whole shebang. The house is now squeaky clean. There is not a blemish to be seen inside or out... Except for that huge pile of manure on your floor, that's still there, collecting flies and saturating the whole house with its foul odor. Yet you still say "Perfect!" pat yourself on the back and call it a job well done.<br />
We've all been there. I know I have... Trying to delude myself it was okay to keep one foot in the flesh and the other in the spirit. Doing this tore me apart. I used to try and appease my guilt by saying "well, what I'm doing is not <i>that</i> bad. I'm not committing murder or anything of that degree..." This was a dangerous mindset to fall victim to, but God in His grace revealed something to me that shattered this lie in my life. He told me not to think for one second, that because I considered my sin as "not that bad," in comparison to what someone else may have done, that I wasn't breaking His heart the same.<br />
When I first started my walk with God, I'd tend to compare my walk with others' and feel discouraged when I wasn't seeing His grace in my life in the same way as theirs. But God showed me that no two walks are ever the same. He created us individually, and so He loves on us and speaks to us individually. We should never compare our walks and expect God to work in our lives the way they did in another's because He uniquely works with every one of us. The same goes for sin. Just because my pile of manure isn't as big as someone else's, does not mean that it doesn't reek in equivalence in the eyes of the Lord.<br />
In Matthew 5:17, Jesus says "Therefore, whoever relaxes one of the least of the commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." As I was reading this passage, God revealed something to me. His commandments, are not apples in an apple orchard. We can't pick and choose the commandments we like and overlook the rest. Every single commandment is indispensable, and I pray that if we relax even one of Your commandments Lord that you convict us, and reprehend us in Your love.<br />
I pray to you King Jesus, to never let me or anyone disrespect You, by trivializing Your commandments. You, who even through seeing the piles of manure in our lives, loves us indescribably. You who in your reckless love, sacrificed Your only Son to be a ransom for us. We are to be a light, a lampstand to the world, God. May we never, upon taking apart the lampstand find dead flies spilling out from inside. You are better than anything the world could ever tempt us with and You are with us in all trials. I love you, Jesus and I thank you for your mercies on our lives. Amen.<br />
<br />Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-68263044593804969172014-10-25T22:45:00.001-07:002014-11-02T20:53:29.692-08:00The L Word<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">1 Corinthians 13:13</span> "A<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">nd now these three remain: faith, hope and love.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1435350222494241880" name="25"></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">But the greatest of these is love."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">In my journey with the Lord, I've realized how easy it is to get distracted. God uses so many people today to perform miracles, healings, prophecy etc. and while there is nothing wrong in hoping in the Lord for these things, it becomes concerning when these <i>things</i> become the objective. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">The very core of God, is love. If I walk upright and go to church every Sunday, but lack love in my heart then these acts become trivial and hollow. God's love is the footing that keeps my life together. Without His love as my basis, my infrastructure of life becomes compromised and the slightest wind can knock everything down.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">I often find my focus in going deeper into relationship with God becoming obfuscated. It either turns into me just attempting to better myself as a person... Which ultimately and inevitably leads to pride and failure, or I begin treating God as a means to and end. I focus on the material goal itself, rather than God. But every time, in His grace, He helps me realize that my focus has shifted. He shows me that He is the root. Drawing closer to Him will transform me naturally, as a matter of course. And when I cast down my idols and put Him as my ultimate goal, before I even realize it, I find that my needs have been met. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; line-height: 20px;">It's all about Him. God's love is foundational. It lays the groundwork for everything else. All He asks is for our hearts, which He more than deserves, and He provides everything else so we can find peace in Him... We never have to worry about our futures so long as we are pursuing Him with our hearts. What an awesome God.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">I've been starting my mornings in prayer, asking the Lord to remind me of His love daily. To never let me regard His love as commonplace. To never let me speak of His love frivolously. God, admonish me daily that the changes and gifts I desire are purposeless without Your love as the root. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px;">Lord I pray for all who seek You, to increase in hope and increase in faith, but most of all, increase in Your love. All You want is our hearts, God, help us feel this overflow of Your heart for us. May we fall in love with You deeper every day. In Jesus' name, Amen.</span></span>Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-50400235239256548922014-10-18T22:50:00.002-07:002014-11-08T10:56:35.271-08:00A Love Too Wild to Understand2 Peter 2:20-22 "For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them to never have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: 'The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.'"<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
Every time I'd try to get myself to make a new blog post in these past few months, I'd end up staring at my computer screen, frozen, unable to muster up anything to type out. I had so many things I could've written about, but every time I'd attempt writing, it'd feel so forced and so fabricated... Because it was. I had the mindset that whatever it was that I was going to write, it had to be wholly edifying... So that in the chance that my peers read it, they'd know I was doing well. Even if at that moment of my life, things weren't going well (things were horrible, really), for the sake of self preservation I'd write as though <i>everything</i> were rainbows and butterflies. Ergo, even writing, my once precious form of catharsis, became jaded and obstructed, all because I couldn't get real with myself.<br />
<div>
Here is some backstory, sparknotes style. My priorities became very convoluted in these previous months. I became distracted, and deluded myself to be content with my lukewarm faith. I'd feel convicted every Sunday, feel bad about it and that was it. I knew I was breaking God's heart, and would immediately think of something else to avoid the guilt and the fact that things needed to change. I was knowingly backsliding and the momentum was picking up, and I was just kicking back and enjoying the view. In the midst of this descent, I'd have moments where I'd feel an urging to make a new blog post, and like I said initially, I'd be frozen... Unable to execute one proper sentence that didn't sound like contrived, artificial jargon.</div>
<div>
It's true that to see if someone is walking healthily with God, you can tell by the fruit they bear. Here I was, in sin and delusion, attempting to create a spiritually uplifting post and still left dumbfounded when my brain and my fingers wouldn't cooperate. Even my own fingers were calling me out on my bull. I was never going to get honest with myself, put myself in a position of vulnerability and write about my backsliding, <i>no</i>. I was going to try and force a post about the amazing things I was accomplishing in life, sprinkle some sentences about the love of Jesus over all of it and hope to fool any nosy readers and more importantly, fool myself. I think I was <i>hoping</i> to fool myself, really. In retrospect, I wish I did post something during those months, so I could read it now and guffaw at the blatantly embellished word vomit that I managed to amalgamate. </div>
<div>
And here I am now, getting real, and able to feel that release once more. God planted this love to write in me, and my attempt at using His gift to bear false fruit was brutally rebuffed. </div>
<div>
I remember hearing a sermon by Francis Chan where he talked about Christians backsliding, that really impacted me. He talked about how backsliding is as if we vomited, walked away from the vomit, and then made the conscious decision to walk back into that vomit and then roll around in it... And before we knew it, we put ourselves in a position far worse than when we first started. This. Is. SO. True. I covered myself in vomit, and came to God shameful, detestable and wretched... and He STILL forgave me. The holy, sinless Creator of the universe, in His incomprehensible and uncontainable love, came down to my pitiful level and with no hesitation, absolved me of my sins. I REEKED of sin and He still ran after my heart. He embraced me despite my repugnance, and let me find my rest once more in Him. How You love me, God... I can't find the words to describe the beauty. I can't find the words WORTHY to describe Your beauty. </div>
<div>
Thank you, Lord of all. Everything I do on this earth, I want it to glorify You. I want my words and the fruit that I bear, to match the life I lead behind closed doors. I am mute without Your wisdom and my words are barren without Your love. Forgive me Lord for falling into temptation and break my heart for how I've broken Yours so that I may know how much I have been forgiven for. I'm desperate for more of You. Always desperate for you, King Jesus. All glory to you, Amen.</div>
<div>
</div>
Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-86257492940698618662013-06-04T15:40:00.002-07:002013-06-08T02:47:08.376-07:00MIGHTY MOS<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">**Another essay we had to do for our hip hop theatre class. Naturally I chose my hubby to write about.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
THEA 115<br />
Professor Rickerby Hinds<br /><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><u>It’s
All Mathematics</u><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Talented lyricists in hip-hop, through techniques like connotations,
double entendres, juxtapositions of phrases etc., frequently touch on pressing
and controversial matters in their lyrics. Rarely do their lyrics mean what is
simply on the surface and are often open-ended which is intended to spur their
audience to think and react. A prime example of a hip-hop artist who
encompasses these qualities is the thirty-nine year old MC, Dante Terrell Smith
commonly known by his stage name, Mos Def, who recently changed his name to
Yasiin Bey. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Yasiin Bey was born in Brooklyn, New York and initiated his hip-hop
career through the group Urban Thermo Dynamics with his brother DCQ and his
sister Ces. He then began to feature in songs with well-known MC’s like De La
Soul, until he finally signed with Rawkus Records and released an album with
Talib Kweli in 1998 as the duo Black Star. The album, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mos Def and Talib Kweli are Black Star</i> created hit singles and really
put Yasiin Bey on the map as a talented, new artist in the realm of hip-hop. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> From then on Yasiin Bey began to release solo albums, his most recent being <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Ecstatic</i> in 2009. Yasiin Bey also
became recognized for his acting and was very active in social issues like Hurricane
Katrina where he openly displayed his discontentment with the government’s
response or lack thereof, to the tragedy. He displayed his feelings through a
song called “Katrina Clap” renamed “Dollar Day” (due to record label issues),
sampling the beat of UTP’s song “Nolia Clap.” In the song he says lines such as,
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell the boss he shouldn’t be the boss
anymore” </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Mr. President’s a
natural ass, he out treating niggas worse than they treat the trash”</i>
blatantly displaying his dissatisfaction with President Bush. From the
beginning of his career Yasiin Bey alluded to social and political issues like
in the song “Definition” with Talib Kweli where he says<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hold your head when the
beat drop</i>” which can be interpreted as connoting the violence associated
with hip-hop. Earlier in the song there are references to Tupac and Biggie and
the danger of being an MC, so “hold your head when the beat drop” can be seen
as an ode to the dangers of living in the slums and being an African American
MC, and also a description of the potency of their music. One song in
particular titled “Mathematics,” produced by DJ Premier, that Yasiin Bey
released in his solo album <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Black on Both
Sides,</i> alludes to various social issues and asks his audience to
essentially do the math and open there eyes about the corrupted reality of the
government, capitalism and society. This song features snippets from himself,
and other conscious rappers like Fat Joe, Ghostface Killah, and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Erykah Badu who says “do your math” from
her song “On and On” urging young, African American children to do well in
school. In this essay I will be doing an in-depth analysis on Yasiin Bey’s song
“Mathematics” and how he insinuates in his lyrics, issues of institutional
racism, marginalization, and the corruptness of government and society as a
whole.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yasiin Bey’s allusions to institutional racism, which can be defined as
any form of inequality by an institution, based on race, are located all
throughout his lyrics in “Mathematics” including his mentioning of the prison-industrial
complex. The Prison-industrial complex or PIC focuses on the dependence on the
growth of prisons and inmates by businesses and companies that supply goods to
prisons, thereby making jail and incarceration a business. He says in verse one
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hip-hop passed all your tall social
hurdles like the nationwide project: prison-industry complex” </i>and in verse
two “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there’s one universal law, but two
sides to every story, three strikes and you be in for life, mandatory,”</i> describing
the issues concerning institutional racism and the prison-industrial complex. The
rate of African Americans in prison by 1999, greatly outnumbered any other
nationality although “African Americans [constituted] only 14% of all drug
users nationally” in 2000 (Marable, 5). Yasiin is referring to the unfairness
of the government and the negative stereotypes of African Americans and their
association with crime, to fuel and justify the need to incarcerate them. His
lyrics saying <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“three strikes and you be
in for life, mandatory</i>” refer to California’s “three-strikes and you’re
out” (Marable, 5) law which erased the parole option for repeating offenders,
most of whom were nonviolent. These imbalanced laws make it impossible for the
majority of African American men to stay out of jail especially when living in
poor conditions that offer them sparse resources and jobs. While living
conditions are so difficult in urban areas, crime almost becomes a necessity
for families to survive. Therefore those who have no other choices but resort
to crime are incarcerated, meaning prisons and inmates will always be growing. Media
also constantly perpetuates negative stereotypes of African Americans making
racism difficult to erase and as long as racism still exists, so will the
reason to incarcerate. Prison has essentially become big business, which is why
Yasiin calls it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“the global jail economy,</i>”
and as White men run most big businesses, like media for example, institutional
racism is practically impossible to escape.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Continuing on, Yasiin Bey alludes to the issue of marginalization which
be seen as the limiting of goods and services to a certain group of people.
Therefore people from a lower or working class may not have access to
privileges and material goods that the middle and upper class may have access
to. Yasiin Bey says, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is business,
no faces just lines and statistics, from your phone, your zip cope to S-S-I
digits. The system break man, child and women in to figures, two columns for
who is and who ain’t niggas</i>”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>insinuating
that the government basically has only two categories in deciding who does and
does not get privileges and those two categories are simply those who are
African American and those who are not. He is implying that the mistreatment
towards African Americans is so severe that you can basically see only two
categories existing. African Americans are marginalized in the sense that they
are forced into living in tenements due to the unavailability of jobs to fund
privileges like school. The government does not address this issue but rather
perpetuates the image that African Americans are violent marginalizing them
even further. Yasiin is saying that the government does not make resources
available to the lower class, yet continues to perpetuate negative images of
these people as if they voluntarily or are inherently criminal. He says at the
end of “Mathematics,” “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why did one straw
break the camel’s back? Here’s the secret: The million other straws underneath
it. It’s all mathematics.</i>” In this line, he is referring to the countless
amounts of big business owners and those in government who perpetuate racism,
thereby creating and sustaining marginalization in a way that seems it is not
purposeful. This is done so that the White men stay in power and remain
wealthy, while simultaneously keeping African Americans from ever fully
achieving freedom. Therefore, by Yasiin saying that the system puts people into
two categories: African Americans and everyone else, he is insinuating that a
form of slavery still exists, through this deliberate and unfair targeting of
African Americans. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yasiin Bey uses his song “Mathematics” ultimately to critique and expose
the racial inequalities supported and sustained by the state. Personally, this
song resonated with me as I took a course in labor studies and got a first-hand
experience on the mistreatment of Latina and Latino workers in the warehouse. I
was able to visit a warehouse in Fontana, CA and speak with as well as
participate in a strike organized by the warehouse workers to fight unfair
treatment. Their wages were low and health services were not provided, even for
those who had worked for decades. Many workers were injured, doing the
strenuous work or have had lung damage from constant exposure to dangerous
fumes. Also, Rather than providing sick workers with days off they would be
simple be replaced by the thousands of others who were willing and in desperate
need of a job. I also learned in great detail about the prison-industrial
complex during this course and about marginalization, institutional racism etc.
and the song “Mathematics,” which I had already loved before, became that much
more significant to me. I was able to understand in more depth the issues he
was alluding to and I was able to relate the lyrics to the workers’ situations as
well as the material we discussed in the class. Overall, I believe this song
contains information much beyond what is on the surface and discusses relevant
matters that should not be ignored. Yasiin Bey expresses through his lyrics the
bleakness of society and attempts to provoke his audience into achieving an
understanding and to simply react. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
A-, Good work.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Works
Cited<br />
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">Badu, Erykah, James
Brown, Fat Joe, and Ghostface Killah. "Mathematics." Mos Def. DJ<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Premier,
1999. CD.<br />
Marable, Manning. "Facing the Demon Head On: Institutional Racism and the
Prison Industrial <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Complex."
<i>Article</i>. Southern Changes, 2000. Book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-8686729235101994902011-11-22T01:40:00.001-08:002012-06-17T01:39:10.274-07:00To Live&Die in LAI’ve pretty much rejected typical California stereotypes until I took a step back and figuratively had a birds eye view of my surroundings. I mean, media obviously over exaggerates how people in Cali act, but when you really think about it, as opposed to other cultures and countries, Cali people are MEAN. I meet people who move from other states to California all the time and tell me how rude and pretentious people are over here and I guess I must have just been immune to it from living here all my life… God forbid I’m one of those rude people that they’re talking about. Our state is just one huge “click” with a bunch of little “sub-clicks” living amongst it.
Don’t get me wrong, I love living in Los Angeles and I love how much it has taught me, but I had to go through near death experiences and psychological trauma to gain it. I’ve always told myself that taking the easy route is nowhere near as satisfying as persevering through the “road less travelled,” but at what cost?
Still… Even though I’ve been surrounded by unmotivated, unintelligent, pessimistic liars and cheaters all my life, through them I was able to learn that honesty, love and hard work is so significant to be happy, and happiness is all I want, it’s all anyone wants really. Of course not all of us are so lucky, some settle being at the bottom and I don’t wish that on my worst enemy… And I don’t mean being at the bottom, I mean settling. I can’t exaggerate enough how important it is to NEVER settle. If you think you’re worth more, brush that off and tell yourself that damn right you’re worth more, worth better.
Popularity, clicks… Media has it right, that shit doesn’t last. So stop worrying about the simple shit and better yourself the right way. Keep your loved ones close, be honest, be kind and do work.
Ideally, I don’t want to spend the rest of my existence in California, but I won’t deny that it taught me life... And that’ll stick with me no matter where I go in the future.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-65907914769746291172010-07-27T01:50:00.001-07:002010-07-27T03:16:24.024-07:00Tell me forum, are you LAZISH?Sleep late, wake up late. That what summer’s all about right? I sleep when the sun comes up and wake up far too late to even remember what getting up in the morning even feels like, let alone even remember the word morning. I didn’t really take into account the repercussions of floating off to the land of nod so late, but now I’m starting to recognize the potential negative affects. But oh well. If only I cared enough to change.<br />Digression…<br />So I’m starting to notice people actually beginning to legitimately build and form their foundations for their future, and I think to myself “Well shit… I still have not even the slightest clue of what I want to be in the future… And the future is more like tomorrow it seems now that I’m and ‘adult’.” I still feel like a kid, and I know damn sure that I still act like one. Parts of my personality may seem aged, like the fact that I like to go to coffee shops and read, and the fact that I find visiting museums appealing… But the rest of me is still right down there with that little girl feeling overwhelmed by the amount of candy available to her at a candy store, or that little boy wanting to cry and wishing to break the toy machine when the claw seems too weak to even grab a damn feather. I’m suffering from the widespread epidemic that has saturated the minds of most of the teenagers-going-on-to-adults in my generation: Lazishness. What is “Lazishness” you ask? It’s a combination of Laziness and Selfishness. Oh it’s a word… In my head. Caring little or as so many call it “DGAF”ing is great… But only in a number of cases. I need to start caring more. I need more motivation in my life and I need to stop asking God or other people for it and I need to find it myself. I know too well that my future isn’t going to be bright just because I say it will be, I need to perform and tortur— I mean… work to get even half of where I aspire to be. For those of you working, and grinding out every day, and truly taking every part of the trite expression “Carpe Diem” seriously, I tip my hat, no, I tip my fucking life to you. Because what you’re doing, is something I wish I could get myself to do immediately. But baby steps… Baby steps.<br />"Idle hands are the devil's workshop"Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-34775260527169544082010-05-03T21:35:00.000-07:002010-05-10T23:59:03.328-07:00Anti-love?!A lot of my peers think I have some kind of issue against love.<br />Let me make this clear. I think love... Is amazing. Brief love, long-term love, tough love, torturous love etc. All of it is mesmerizing to me. The fact that this one uncontrollable emotion can effect such a strong response in millions of individuals is mind-boggling. <br />Now the reason my peers think that I am "anti-love" is because I don't believe in relationships. Love and relationships, are two completely different things people. For those who are in a genuine, love-filled relationship, I raise my glass to you for being one of the few who are doing something right. And for rest of you who call your on and off, deceitful, meaningless togetherness a relationship, I can't understand you. Left and right, all the time my friends say "I don't even love my boyfriend/girlfriend why am I even with him/her?" and of course I give my solid, honest advice although I know once they go home every bit of my words of wisdom will fade into nonexistence. <br />I'll be ready for a relationship when the word commitment stops sounding like a chore. I'll be ready when someone shows me the clear distinction between the ever-so-famous dichotomous idea of like and love. When dates stop sounding garrulous and conversations stop seeming forced, I'll be ready. When I feel I need just that one person, and find his act of passing gas or burping as loud as the roar of a chainsaw adorable, I'll be ready. But until then forum...<br />I'm going to sit back and continue what I'm doing. I'm going to converse with intellectual men, dance with confident men, and coquettishly bat my eyes away at attractive men until someone stops me so hard in my tracks I won't even recall these short-lived encounters. You have to stop searching for this hollywood-based persona of everlasting bullshit love. Life will throw you something better and stronger than fantasy if you just stop constantly focusing on impressing everyone. Focus on what you love, not who you'll love, and you'll yell "what?!" when that who becomes your love. <br />That is all.<br />Love,<br />Sarah<br /><br />P.S. I hope you all enjoy the new music player I got on my page. ;)<br />"Music, the greatest good that mortals know, and all of heaven we have below." - Joseph AddisonSarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-47056956005023684592010-04-19T20:54:00.000-07:002012-02-29T00:41:33.337-08:00My Mom<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #868686; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 11px;"><span class="entrytext" style="-webkit-transition-delay: initial; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.5s; -webkit-transition-property: color; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out; color: black; text-decoration: none;"></span></span><br />
<div style="color: #868686; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 11px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 5px;">
<a href="http://smooon.tumblr.com/post/5299514053/i-love-my-mom" style="-webkit-transition-delay: initial; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.5s; -webkit-transition-property: color; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out; color: black; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-transition-delay: initial; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.5s; -webkit-transition-property: color; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out; color: black; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-transition-delay: initial; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.5s; -webkit-transition-property: color; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out;">I never had the greatest immune system. Back in middle school and high school, man… I got sick so often that the medicine cabinet in our house was practically dedicated to me. Despite how often I got attacked by a virus, my mom acted like I was sick with some debilitating disease every single time. She’d have soup ready for me at all times, she’d turn my bed into a pillow palace to ensure my comfortability, she’d pile mountains of blankets on top of me, all of that stuff. She did so much for me, but what made these moments so memorable for me, is what she’d say to me before I’d fall asleep for bed. I’d crawl into bed, lethargic from my cold, and I’d wait until my mom came to check up on me one last time, like she always did. She’d come into my room, panning the vicinity and picking up any clothes that I threw on the floor, then would finally come and sit by my bedside. She’d look at me with these eyes, that looked so pained and discomforted by the mere fact that I had a little cold. Then she’d say this one phrase that would remind me just how lost, how broken I would be without my mom. She’d say “Anytime you’re in pain or feeling weak, I wish God would just finally answer my prayer and take all that pain from you and give it to me, so I can suffer in your place. I wish I could suffer for you every time.” Then she’d click off the lights, close my door, and walk out. There’s not one person in this entire realm of life that measures even close to what my mom means to me. She’s a cancer survivor, she works 365 days a year, she would do anything, and I mean anything, to keep me happy, and on top of all that she’s a mother. When they say there’s nothing in this world like a mother’s love, it’s the damn truth. I say this every Mother’s day, and I’m going to make it a tradition.</span></span><em style="-webkit-transition-delay: initial; -webkit-transition-duration: 0.5s; -webkit-transition-property: color; -webkit-transition-timing-function: ease-out; color: black; text-decoration: none;"> “Mom, you are the closest thing to Hollywood’s depiction of a super hero that I know. I love you with all my heart.” Happy Mothers day to all! </em></a></div>Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-32402550418651247002010-01-27T19:31:00.001-08:002010-01-28T13:39:24.089-08:00"God grant me the serenity<br />To accept the things I cannot change;<br />The courage to change the things that I can;<br />And the wisdom to know the difference."<br />-Reinhold Niebuhr<br /><br />A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. <br />-Ralph Waldo Emerson<br /><br />All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. <br />-Ralph Waldo Emerson<br /><br />Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.<br />-Ralph Waldo EmersonSarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-49098808155762501232010-01-23T07:09:00.000-08:002010-01-24T00:51:34.985-08:00One of those mornings...I am running on about 1 or 2 hours sleep right now. Maybe less. I don't know what it is with me this morning, but man... I am not feeling too good. My mind is rummaging through stupid and paranoid thoughts once again. I wish there was some way for me to gain some kind of control... But now I'm beginning to think that I'll only achieve control over my thoughts when I feel I have a solid sense of direction in my life. As of now all my "ideas" of where I want to sustain my foundation in the future are open-ended. I'm definitely not one of those people who know exactly what they want to be and just go for it. I'm a weak person. I'm a scared person. I don't know what I want to do with my life, let alone know how to get there. Stress overwhelms me at times and sometimes leads me to bitter, unwelcoming mornings such as this one... But I digress. <br />Lately my dreams have been very strange... They make no sense. The one I had just now was so... Odd. I could talk to plush dolls that were rather large in size not that that piece of information is significant. Anyways, this may sound creepy to you, but for me, nothing about the dream seemed odd until one of the plush dolls asked me if I could see God. I answered something along the lines of well of course not. I mean I can't. I'm pretty sure nobody can. I wanted to finish with something like you really just have to believe, but I woke up. <br />I think that not being able to see God is a significant factor that contributes to his existence. It tests our faith so much more. We people are visual creatures. We feed off what is right in front of us. But believing in a force that can not be directly seen in a certain form really shows that we still know and hold onto faith.<br />I had a pretty stressful night before falling asleep last night. Watching all those scary movies before sleeping probably didn't help too much either. Well good or bad, I'm going to head out and embrace this day any way. Don't let a bad start to your day ruin the rest of it for you. Flash a smile to a stranger, get one back. Life is only good if we make the effort. It really is surprising how a little smile can change your day. <br />Good morning forum.<br />:)Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-6356951049278086932009-12-03T02:32:00.000-08:002010-01-18T23:45:57.063-08:00Santa's come early this yearAnd so my story drags on...<br />I have become reunited with my friend that I have been yapping so much about...<br />And you know what? It feels spectacular. A few old friends that I've had some rocky relationships with are now close to me again as well. I am elated.<br />And on top of that, it's December!<br />Now I don't know about you forum, but something about this month really gets me hyped. I think of mittens, hot chocolate, laughter, togetherness, beanies, jackets, and snow... Not that it even in snows in California, but hey. Let's not trample all over my Christmas spirit. I'm guessing it's because I am preparing myself to celebrate a birthday? No, not a birthday... THE birthday! Jesus Christ's of course! I mean... We all get excited for birthday parties, so maybe it's because its Jesus's, people just become brighter during December? Oh I don't know who gives a hoot as long as we're happy? And yes, I did just say hoot... Aherm. I digress. Now I've been a hermit for a few months now thanks to hours of endless studying...HOWEVER, my finals are almost over and every time my face hits that fresh, cold air outside... I feel really... Happy. I feel like bringing that extrovert out of me. <br />Please tell me I am not alone when I say that December is just an amazing month. <br />Even through this cold weather, wherever I go I feel like a warm beacon of light is shining on me at all times. And whether it is conspicuous or not, it really doesn't make a difference. All the despairing emotions I leave to you November. Grief, remorse, negativity, you all are not invited to December. I would say go away forever, but we all know that is completely kooky and unrealistic, let alone the fact that I am talking to words right now, but once again! Take your dirty feet off my Christmas spirit.<br />Let's have a great month forum.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-31247412870282742502009-11-15T02:45:00.000-08:002009-12-03T02:59:32.469-08:00Jaw breakerI deleted my life is like a jawbreaker post, but apparently someone quoted that post a whole bunch on their own blog... So i'll try to rewrite it to the best of my abilities.<br /><br />Life is like a jawbreaker. At first, you don't really know what you're in for. You start tasting it and you find that there is a different color under the exterior. You continue to lick at it and hey, different colors. Eventually you get bored so you put it to the side for a bit. Later you continue and what do you know? More colors. You can't even just bite into the thing because it will break YOU. You feel like you should just give up, but you might as well finish what you've already started. Or else all that time-consuming work would amount to nothing. So if you're one of those people that think this way, you keep going at it. And depending on how hard you worked at it, the end result will either be very sweet, or terribly sour.<br /><br />If my end is sweet, great. If it's sour, oh well. Doesn't mean I'm going to give up. God or no God, I don't want to leave feeling like I didn't do SHIT in this world. And the fact that I believe in God makes my positive willpower that much stronger. I just want to know. Whether my "end" is bad or good... That is all.Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1435350222494241880.post-75607913242138450762009-11-04T23:24:00.001-08:002009-11-04T23:40:07.367-08:00NothingSo a very opinionated person told a friend of mine that my blogs are about nothing. What does that exactly mean? I am obviously writing about something, many times something that i'm not sure about, so what does he/she mean? What exactly is nothing? To me it seems that nothing in itself is something. So can there really be a nothing, without it being... Something? Isn't there always a something for a nothing? You can call something nothing, yet have a name for that nothing thus making it something. So i'm going to use my twisted way of articulating matters to regard his/her comment as a compliment. So thank you.<br /><center><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b292/Smoonie777/i-have-nothing-to-say.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a></center>Sarah Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10036259448485366352noreply@blogger.com2