Monday, May 3, 2010

Anti-love?!

A lot of my peers think I have some kind of issue against love.
Let me make this clear. I think love... Is amazing. Brief love, long-term love, tough love, torturous love etc. All of it is mesmerizing to me. The fact that this one uncontrollable emotion can effect such a strong response in millions of individuals is mind-boggling.
Now the reason my peers think that I am "anti-love" is because I don't believe in relationships. Love and relationships, are two completely different things people. For those who are in a genuine, love-filled relationship, I raise my glass to you for being one of the few who are doing something right. And for rest of you who call your on and off, deceitful, meaningless togetherness a relationship, I can't understand you. Left and right, all the time my friends say "I don't even love my boyfriend/girlfriend why am I even with him/her?" and of course I give my solid, honest advice although I know once they go home every bit of my words of wisdom will fade into nonexistence.
I'll be ready for a relationship when the word commitment stops sounding like a chore. I'll be ready when someone shows me the clear distinction between the ever-so-famous dichotomous idea of like and love. When dates stop sounding garrulous and conversations stop seeming forced, I'll be ready. When I feel I need just that one person, and find his act of passing gas or burping as loud as the roar of a chainsaw adorable, I'll be ready. But until then forum...
I'm going to sit back and continue what I'm doing. I'm going to converse with intellectual men, dance with confident men, and coquettishly bat my eyes away at attractive men until someone stops me so hard in my tracks I won't even recall these short-lived encounters. You have to stop searching for this hollywood-based persona of everlasting bullshit love. Life will throw you something better and stronger than fantasy if you just stop constantly focusing on impressing everyone. Focus on what you love, not who you'll love, and you'll yell "what?!" when that who becomes your love.
That is all.
Love,
Sarah

P.S. I hope you all enjoy the new music player I got on my page. ;)
"Music, the greatest good that mortals know, and all of heaven we have below." - Joseph Addison

11 comments:

  1. First off, the music is great. Secondly, who are you and what kind of life have you lead to have the thoughts and insights you display on here? You write so well. What I wanted to add was that I think having that definition of love isn’t something that develops over night or even several months. I think it’s something that for some people, they spend (unconsciously at first but eventually consciously) working on and re-defining, fortifying and sculpting constantly. I believe it has something to do with one's nature, (ie. romantics) but a lot of it must be nurture too. I mean we see the people in our family and how they act with love. What love means to them and what they seem to want us to think of it too. I mean I feel really blessed that I have definitions of relationships and love that I can truly appreciate. And I wonder what kind of upbringing and experiences you have gone through to have such a one, too. Lol I have a lot to say on the topic... Um anyway, I was wondering would you mind if I posted this blog entry on my facebook? I would give all credit to you of course.

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  2. @Sam Park Feel free to put this blog anywhere you want!
    I'm an average, normal girl that has been through many experiences in life, and every time I go through one of those experiences and can't seem to express in words how I feel, I write them down. In my about me section in this page, I mention that I am interested in the amorphous aspects of life. Ideas and opinions that are forever changing. I consider love to be one of them, and I cannot agree with you more that love is something we "sculpt constantly." With my family, I know what love is. They are the type of people that have shown me the beauty, strength, and complexities of this emotion. I have not felt this with a man, yet of course I have felt an attraction to many. Relationships I believe are oftentimes just labels that set rules such as "do not cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend." It is so much easier, in my opinion to have a relationship with someone without the labels because then the rules aren't set, yet let's say you follow them anyway because with or without the labels, that person matters to you enough for you to follow "relationship rules" without a "relationship." This means more to me than following rules because they are set through the "relationship" label. I appreciate you're feedback so much... Thank you.

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  3. I think that's great that you can express yourself so eloquently on here. When I can't express what I'm feeling I REALLY can't express it, in spoken words or written (much less interpret it in thoughts). Therefore, I do have a lot to say on the topic, but at the same time, not much at all. For me, I think my family has emphasized the sanctity of love. I'm almost offended by how lightly people seem to treat relationships these days. And it's even more so when they throw around the word love so carelessly. All too often I see people labeling a relationship they are in as having involved "love" and when things go awry, they blame the institution of love and become bitter, jaded individuals. Which is odd to me as they got into the relationship not really knowing the person anyway, yet expected something amazing to come out of it. I think I agree on what you were saying about labels. It seems to me like a sort of trap that people put themselves into. By labeling someone as your boyfriend or girlfriend, I feel like one might be artificially creating feelings for the other just because he's her "boyfriend" and she is supposed to behave and feel a certain way towards him. It all strikes me as very unnatural. Yet, at the same time I think I understand the general rush to get into a relationship. Wanting to love and be loved seems like a universal longing. Anywho, I posted this post on my facebook notes as I wanted to share it with my friends~ I really appreciate your reply and the fact that you appreciate my feedback !

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  4. "I'm almost offended by how lightly people seem to treat relationships these days. And it's even more so when they throw around the word love so carelessly"
    Mhhhm.. Theyre expecting the fairy tale kind of love and when they don't get what they want, of COURSE it's not their fault its love itself.
    And no problem. :) Glad you enjoyed.

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  5. Hi Sarah! My name is Kevin, and I live in California too, in the San Francisco area. I have enjoyed watching your videos on youtube, hearing your opions, and about how life is going as the way you see it. Thats how life should be for everyone. Yes, life has its ups and downs, but the least we can do is just hang in there day in and day out. By the way, I love your blog about love. I don't see you as a person who is an anti-love person at all. You just making it clear to others, that you are just not ready for a relationship right now. It's good to know that a beautiful woman like yourself, is enjoying life as it is right now, and dont consider the word "commitment" seem, or even sound like a chore, or on someone's so called "to do list"
    People just dont understand that you're not ready for a relationship, and they act on it, as if it is bad thing or something. Well, that should be on them, not you.

    Now about me, I am also more interested in asian women as well, and would like to marry one some day in the future, but just like you, I am in no rush to get married, or be in arelationship either. I am just taking things day by day, and see what's out there, in other words, I am trying to continue keeping my options open to whatever is possible, not so much like its something that I expect to take place within the next 3 days.

    Anyways, I agree with you. Most people don't get that love and relationships are totally 2 different things, cuz you can love your friends, you can love your family, and of course you can love your partner (Boyfriend/Girlfriend), but what's different as you and I may know, is that the felling is different. For example, I would say about my guy friends, or female friends, "I love them like a brother/ sister". That don't mean that I love them like the way I would love a girlfriend, but it does show how important they mean to me in my life as friends. Also, when I say I love my family. Yes I love them, but again its not the way I'd love a girlfriend, cuz thats my family. It's a different type of relationship with them too. I'm sure you understand what I am trying to say, cuz I am sure you feel the same way with your family and friends as well.

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  6. Yea I have always had an issue with this "love" thing... It has been so watered down over the years with the casual "i love you"s (from bfs to gfs that have been going out for all of 3 days) that i think people don't even know what it means anymore...AND yea "commitment" is basically a 9 to 5 job you are right lol...n ugh son you got good taste in music lol
    ~d(-_-)b~

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  7. @masterkevi20032003
    Thank you so much! I feel like I need to start doing more with youtube... Think of some skits or something... I want to do more things with Youtube in the long run and break out of my shell! Thank you for sharing your opinion on love and I completely agree with you... The way I love my family is completely different from the way I'll love someone else... Hope to hear from you more!

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  8. @DiskJunkie(DJ)♪♫♪™
    Seriously right? Love is a serious word... But it's being thrown around left and right with no feeling at all... It's so wrong. Just makes me think, what's love going to mean ten years from now? From the looks of it, close to nothing at all.
    Thank you! I'm a huge music junkie I'm glad you're enjoying.

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  9. Hey Sarah, I would like to hear from u more as well, cuz I enjoy watching ur videos, and listening to ur opions, as well as reading ur blog, which I find interesting, cuz I like a woman that has such interesting viewpoints, on certain topics, such as life in general.

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  10. By the way, Im thinking of some skits to post on Youtube also, but for some wacked out reason, I can't think of anything at the moment. Maybe someday in the future, I wonder if we can make a skit for Youtube. Feel free to let me know what u about that. :)

    I think that would be so cool to do.

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  11. Sorry about the typo. I meant to say, let me know what u think about making a skit for youtube. :)

    Til then, take care my friend.

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